Freedom in Lent - Day 37

“Not forgiving is like drinking rat poison and then waiting for the rat to die.”
                            Anne Lamott, Traveling Mercies: Some Thoughts on Faith

Anne Lamott's quote is one that has existed in various forms for many years and is credited to a variety of writers and speakers - and there's good reason for it's longevity, for in those few words is much wisdom. 

Over my years in this Jesus-following journey I have heard many people say that we must forgive those who hurt us, and let them know we had done so. I disagree, both with the emotional guilt layered on 'you must forgive' and with having to tell a person who has hurt us that we have forgiven them - which can lead to re-traumatization and further hurt. 

Forgiveness is not about our relationship with someone who has hurt us, it is about letting go of the power that such hurt has done us. It is about not allowing someone's harmful behaviour to define us going on. Forgiveness is about our own movement towards healing. We forgive, that we might move forward, it frees us, it liberates us from those who have no right to continue to dominate our own mental and emotional life. 

Forgiveness can be a long, and painful, process and we do it in partnership with a Divine love and grace that leads us towards healing. 

Put away from you all bitterness and wrath and anger and wrangling and slander, together with all malice, and be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you.

                                                                                               Ephesians 4.31, 32